Violin Lessons
by citixlitesxburnxtehxdead
Summary: Bella decides to take violin lessons. There is not much more I can say without giving anything away. Very funny, hopefully.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Violin Lessons

The title explains it all. Kind of OOC, but that's what makes it funny.

Disclaimer: I don't. Stephenie Meyer does.

"For the thousandth time, I'm going to and that's final!" Edward just sighed in frustration.  
"Whatever. You can do whatever you want."

I jumped at Edward, and as I expected, he caught me. I planted a big kiss on his cheek, threw my head back, and yelled "YIPPEE!!" When I looked at Edward again, he looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

I smiled. "It's okay, you can laugh." A loud laugh ripped out through his lips like EXTREMELY loud chimes.

"Jeez Edward, you might want to laugh a little louder. People ten miles away might not be able to hear you." Edward's grin widened, but his laugh to a silent chuckle. "Aww, poor people ten miles away. They don't get to hear you"Edward spun me around in circles until I was dizzy, then he fell to the ground with me on top of him. He kissed me lightly on the lips, then set me next to him, and turned onto his side to face me and smiled.

Edward and I were in his meadow, and now, after a little bit of arguing, were finally getting some peace. "I'm sorry Bella, but the sun is setting and we need to get you home before Charlie goes ballistic." I moaned quietly, but let Edward pick me up and hold me in his arms without any resistance. Whenever Edward held me gently like this, it made me feel like a tiny, fragile baby. 

Edward looked down at me and smiled, then took off running. We didn't take a car, so Edward stopped when my house was around the corner. He set me down, then turned to look at me. "You're going to have to tell Charlie." He said gravely. I nodded and started walking, but, being me, I tripped and nearly fell, but, Edward being Edward, of course, caught me.

"Thank you." I smiled I stood up on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek and whispered good bye in his ear. I walked in the door of my house and then into the living room where Charlie was pacing anxiously. "Relax, I'm here before curfew." Charlie's head shot up. "Whatever." He grumbled.

I bit my lip a took a deep breath. "Umm...Charlie?" Charlie suddenly looked alert and he ran over to me. "Are you pregnant?" He screamed into my face. "No, no, nothing like that!" Charlie narrowed his eyes. " What is it then?" I took a deep breath. "Charlie, I'm learning to play the violin."

Charlie looked surprised, but waved me to my room while he plopped back onto the couch. When I got to my room, I closed the door and looked around for Edward. When I couldn't find him, I started panicking. I was about to scream because of the lack of Edward when a cold hand covered my mouth.

"Relax," He said soothingly, "I just went to get you something." Edward moved his hand from my mouth to my eyes and turned me around. When he turned my around, sitting on my bed was...

...what must have been thousands of $100 bills! Naw, I'm just kidding. There was a really expensive looking violin. Time to start lessons!

(3 weeks later, Cullen's house)

Nobody was home but Alice and I. I had convinced her to listen to me play because I had had lessons everyday for the past three weeks. I started playing, and I sounded better than ever! But then Alice started running in circles and screaming "AH! MY EARS! MY SUPER SENSITIVE EARS!!!" Then she hit the wall, and her super hard skin and vampire strength made her crash through the wall, and she ran, ran until she was no longer visible.

(Alice's POV)

I sat down to listen to Bella play her new violin. She took a deep breath and lifted her hand. When she started playing, though, that was a disaster. It sounded like a violin alright, being playing by a monkey. Never mind. A monkey could play better than her. I blame it on her clumsy fingers. Anyway, when she started playing, I started running around in circles, trying to escape the horrible noise, and screaming for it to stop, or did I complain about my ears? I can't remember go ask Bella.

Okay, back to the story again. I eventually ran through the wall, and went to go destroy the author of this fanfiction for making me do such stupid things. Well, I accidentally changed her, so right now I'm trying to hide before she gets me. I guess Antarctica is SO bad


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I know this was supposed to be a oneshot, but my beta gave me the awesome idea to write one of Bella's lessons through the POV of her instructor. This EXTREMELY short, only half a page on word, but I though you might enjoy. Again, please review! I live for reviews. **

**Disclaimer: Before you say it, I don't, Stephenie does.**

I straightened all my papers, then grabbed cotton balls and carefully inserted them into my ears. I was preparing for my student, Isabella Swan, to come for her violin lesson. She was HORRIBLE, but I was nice anyway, but I always reminded her to practice. Poor Chief Swan.

There was a knock on my door, and the door opened, though I didn't hear because of the cotton balls in my ears. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I spun around in my chair, taken by complete surprise. "Oh, hello Bella," I smiled. She said something, but I wasn't able to hear it, but I nodded my head.

Bella sat down and turned to the page we were working on and started playing. I could just barely hear it through the cotton balls. It wasn't nearly as bad as when I first heard her play because of the cotton balls. She still played as bad, and after three weeks, she was no better than her first day.

When the lesson was over, I bent over and, while pretending to tie my shoe, took out the cotton balls and set the under my desk. I stood up and shook her hand. "Good job today Bella. You played awesome. I loved the way you kept the beat and played the notes so beautifully. Keep practicing, though, you can never get too good." She smiled at me, and then I released her and her horrible violin skills to the world.


	3. Notice

Okay, frankly, I'm completely sick of Twilight, and I want NOTHING to do with it. Sorry. I'm done.


End file.
